Everyone’s Saying Mila Kunis Is Pregnant, And I Want It To Be True So Bad

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Mila Kunis Nodding

Just tell me it's true…

Everyone stop what you're doing and squeeze your eyes closed really tight and make a wish with me that Mila Kunis is pregnant. There are rumors everywhere that she is, so just the few wishes contributed by you and me and everyone we know should put her over the edge into the beautiful little hamlet of Babytown.

And this isn't just me having wishful thinking because I saw a photo of Mila in a baggy shirt after she had a big, food-baby lunch, either. I'm not the kind of gal to go fat-shaming my way through the internet. (And certainly not the day before I'm about to act out my own personal version of Hunger Games on a turkey until it's just a defenseless carcass.)

Nope, this theory is coming from somewhere slightly more grounded — Ashton Kutcher has been acting like a maniac. The two of them had dinner at Carlitos Gardel, an Argentinian restaurant in Los Angeles, and when they came out, the paparazzi was waiting for them. All normal so far…except that Ashton's reaction to them being there seemed way out of proportion. Mila turned right around, shielding her face and said ‘oh my god', and Ashton started trying to distract them while she ran around to the car. TMZ has the video, which is a lot of Ashton saying ‘get lost, man, get lost' to the photographers, followed by a quick scamper to the car by Mila.

It just seems like she would be used to being filmed in public right now, since she's been a celebrity for over a decade. There must be some new component to it, and I'm really really hoping it's a little baby brewing and all this commotion was because Ashton didn't want the paparazzi to get a photo of Mila with any suggestion of a bump.

You guys, I really think that if we wish hard enough and give these two enough space, we can will a baby into being! I can't speak for everyone, but I totally believe in the power of miracles…in this case, the power of Ashton to get his divorce to Demi Moore all tied up before any theoretical baby would be born.