Michelle Duggar’s Secret To A Happy Marriage Is Being Ready For Sex 24/7, Bonus If You Actually Want It

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Michelle Duggar Jim Bob Duggar Kissing,jpgDo you know what Michelle Duggar's body and your local 7-11 have in common? They're both open for business 24/7! Do you know what else Michelle Duggar's body and your local 7-11 also have in common? They're both filled with slim Jim(Bob)s. Yes, yes, hold your applause, I'll be here alllllll week.

In a recent interview with TODAY Moms, Michelle Duggar offered up the following advice for having a happy marriage. It's a lot, so we're going to break it down bit by bit so we can properly discuss it.

“Michelle says a friend gave her advice to live by before she and Jim Bob married in 1984: “She said, ‘In your marriage there will be times you're going to be very exhausted.”

Okay, I'm following. Life can be exhausting. I'm not married and I still occasionally (nightly) find myself exhausted. I'm digging this so far. We're on the same page.

Your hubby comes home after a hard day's work, you get the baby to bed, and he is going to be looking forward to that time with you.'”

Sometimes your hubby will be exhausted too. Because while you spent the day raising children playing peek-a-boo, he went to work. Work? That's a place men go to do manly things like fish and chew tobacco. Actually, to be honest, I don't know what they do there. I've never been. Too much to do at home —those daughters don't body shame themselves!

 “‘Be available. Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has…”

Physical need of love? Hugs? Cuddles? Hugs and cuddles with a side of tickles? Oh wait, I see where this is going. She's talking about s-e-x.

“…and you always need to be available when he calls.'”

Oh not just sex, but sex on his schedule! Oh how fabulous! For his penis!

“Hello Michelle, this is Jim Bob's Slim Jim (Bob) and I wanted to let you know that I'll be over in a jiffy. But first, wanted to make sure that damn baby's asleep. Nothing's kills the mood faster than a baby. Also Jim Bob wanted me to ask you, where did you get that baby? Where do they all keep coming from? You know what, don't answer, I love the surprise every 9 months!”

So there you have it! The secret to a happy marriage is putting aside all of your needs so that your husband's needs can be met. And if your needs happen to overlap one night, think of it as a bonus!

(Photo: Today)