Entertainment

Michael Fassbender And 9 Other Stars Less Famous Than Their Penises

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Michael Fassbender Shame stillHappy birthday to Michael Fassbender! He's thirty-six years old today, and if you're anything like me and the rest of the population (whether female or otherwise), when anyone mentions his name, a giant image of a penis flashes into your brain. Even if you haven't seen Shame, the move where he so memorably and full frontally and prolong…edly displays his saucy man-bits, you've heard enough about it by now that your brain does most of the work on its own. Michael Fassbender. Penis. Michael Fassbender. Penis. Michael Fassbender. PENIS PENIS PENIS. It's inextricable. The term ‘fassbender' has actually even entered our social vocabulary as a replacement for ‘penis', as in, “We never hooked up, but I totally saw his Fassbender.”

But here's the thing about Michael Fassbender — he was actually nominated for a ton of awards for Shame that weren't at all penis-based. Yeah, turns out his body and mind and face and talent were in that movie too, just people tend to forget and get distracted in the face of his…well, you know. (I think I've already said the word ‘penis' too much in this post; the cock police are probably outside my door right now, and this is far from over.) Being remembered almost solely for his penis is Michael Fassbender's cross to bear in this life, but it's not a path he has to walk alone. There are many celebrities whose genitalia has achieved more notoriety than the paltry celebrity to whom they are attached. So let's go through them, shall we? Just to make Michael feel better on his special day: 9 Stars Less Famous Than Their Penises:

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