Megan Fox’s Kids Are Cute And All, But She Should Really Figure Out Birth Control

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Megan Fox saying whatever GIFSometimes I worry that nobody bothered to teach the celebrities of Hollywood about birth control. I think babies are as cute as the next person, and by no means do I want to discourage famous people from pushing them out, but when I hear Megan Fox discussing her unplanned pregnancies as if she'd have no idea of how to go about planning them, I get a little nervous.

Megan went on The Ellen Show to promote her upcoming movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlesand one of the main topics the two of them discussed was Megan's kids. She has two of them with her husband Brian Austin Green — Noah, 19 months, and Bodhi, 11 weeks — and she doesn't seem quite sure how she got them, except that Ellen DeGeneres had something to do with it:

“The first time I was here, I was pregnant and no one knew it and then the second time I just had my baby, but I got pregnant again, so you're sort of like a fertility good luck charm. If you want to get pregnant, come see Ellen.”

No Megan, no no no. If you want to get pregnant, have unprotected intercourse! If you don't want to get pregnant, or you don't have a particular feeling either way, then maybe hold off for a bit or have protected intercourse, like with condoms, the pill, IUD, or any number of the vast options available to you. Ellen has surprisingly little to do with it.

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green's kids Noah and Bodhi

By no means am I judging unplanned pregnancies or accidents (happy or otherwise) because obviously those kids are adorable and wonderful. I'm just taking my cues off of Megan herself, who seems pretty open about the fact that the timing of her pregnancy with Bodhi was especially inconvenient.

“I got pregnant with Bodhi two weeks into filming Ninja Turtles, which is an action movie and requires a lot of running and jumping and stunts. So anyone that's been pregnant knows the first trimester can be pretty rough and your nauseous all day long, so I spent the whole shoot … clinging to a box of Saltines. And we kept pickles in the refrigerator for me and I was just constantly on the verge of vomiting.”

Doesn't it seem like the pregnancy and the filming of the movie would've both been easier if they hadn't overlapped? And given that Meghan A. already knew what her filming schedule was and B. was familiar with the concept of morning sickness in the first trimester, I guess I wonder why the instinct wouldn't be to plan one around the other. But as she said herself, that's totally not her thing:

“The first one wasn't planned either. I mean, we can't let Brian near me anymore.”

!!!!! BUT THAT'S NOT HOW IT — y'know what? Nevermind.

(Image: Tumblr)