McKayla Maroney Skips All The Fun Parts Of Fame And Jumps Right To The Part Where She Gets Stalked

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While most celebrities get to enjoy a year or two in the spotlight before getting a stalker, McKayla Maroney continues to exceed our expectations by getting harassed by crazy people right away. Despite the fact she's only 16, her parents say that they're so concerned for her safety that they've hired security for the Olympic gymnast.

A Daily Mail reporter spoke to her mother and get the inside details on what it's like to have your teenage daughter obsessed over by strangers.

“Erin Maroney, 47, told Mail Online, ‘It has been a bit frightening, we have had marriage proposals. My daughter is 16…We have hired specialist security guards to make sure McKayla is never on her own. We don’t want another Shawn Johnson situation to happen”

So while Ryan Lochte's playing penis paddle ball with Prince Harry in Las Vegas, his American comrade's forced to avoid marriage proposals. And not to get all When Harry Met Sally on you, but there's the difference between men and women in a nutshell. Women obsess over Ryan Lochte by passing around photos of him swimming and saying, “oh, jeah!” Men obsess over McKayla Maroney by stalking her and making her fear for her life. One involves GIFs and one involves restraining orders. (And that's the basis for my future screenplay, When Harry Met His Parole Officer.)

On top of the news that the Maroney family now lives in fear for their daughter comes the even creepier news that an actor hit on the young gymnast. While this blind item comes from  Crazy Days and Nights, a site famous for making up rumors about celebrities, it falls in line with what we're hearing from legitimate sources.

So read it with a grain of salt. Maybe even a box of salt. Like the kind of box you'd buy at Costco.

This very good looking B- list actor in his 30's from a hit (for them) USA network show ran into McKayla Maroney and started hitting on her like there was no tomorrow. When she told him she was only 16, he said that it didn't matter to him, and gave her his phone number and said that when she wanted a man, and not a Jonas brother to give him a call.

Not only did this needlessly drag the Jonas Brothers into this debacle, but it's also going to make me watch all USA shows with a discerning eye now. Which one of those men hit on a teenager? Also which one of those men compares his masculinity to a Jonas Brother. That's like me going around saying that I'm more of a woman than Honey Boo Boo. It's just not a good basis for comparison.

Anyway, if you're one of the people stalking McKayla Maroney, they're on to you. You should stop. Just stalk from afar like the rest of us and focus on finding new ways to work “McKayla Maroney is not impressed” into your everyday conversation.