Matt Damon’s Ponytail Came Thanks to Extensions, and He Now Knows the Plight of Women Everywhere
The man bun and man braid and man ponytail and man whatever else trend seems to be hitting a weird all-time high these days, and I honestly don't know how I feel about it. I guess because I was ~blessed~ (or cursed, depending on how you look at it) with thick, unruly hair that ends up all over my bathroom, clothes, car, and everywhere else (seriously, I spent almost a half hour this morning vacuuming my apartment because of this) that I simply can't understand why a dude would WANT to experience the pain of long hair. To me, braids, top knots, and ponytails are the only salvation from a long process of washing, brushing, blow drying, and ironing into submission my ridiculous mane. I'll basically stretch my hair washes out as long as I can just to avoid it. I know, first world problems and all that. Sorry for the TMI.
But alas, thanks to Buzzfeed and Instagram, man buns are ~cool~ and all of Hollywood's cool guys are doing it. I do feel some guys pull it off well, but most just look kind of ridiculous. And Matt Damon falls in the latter camp.
I'm not trying to shade Matt at all, in fact, he's one of my favorite actors and I'd probably faint if I ever saw him in person (hi Matt! I promise I'm not creepy if you're reading this! why are you reading this anyway?!) His ponytail caused an internet stir earlier this summer and many wondered if he was going through some sort of mid-life crisis.
Matt appeared on The Graham Norton Show on Saturday sans-ponytail and Graham asked him what happened to it. He said he had the ponytail for about five months while filming The Great Wall in Beijing but that nobody really knew until he did a press conference at the very end of filming.
He said that it wasn't his real hair, but was 700 extensions that an American hairstylist flew all the way to Beijing to insert in his hair (do they not have any hair stylists in Beijing though?) and that it took a full day to do. Matt said he now has “a whole new appreciation” for his wife and daughter: “It’s very hard to do!”
Graham mentioned that the ponytail had such a following, it now has its own Twitter account (@mattdamonpony, of course). He also read some of the ..er, erotic tweets that people shared when they first saw the ponytail, including:
Matt Damon has a ponytail and if he ever puts it in a top knot I think my ovaries might explode
— Lizzie✌ (@pandaa_eyes) July 8, 2015
Matt Damon I will use your ponytail to steer while you dine upon my lady sandwich ok
— Paige (@PeachCoffin) July 3, 2015
People had lots of feelings about this ponytail, apparently.
Matt Damon with a ponytail is probably one of the most horrifyingly awful things I have ever seen.
— Edd Kent (@El_Deceptico) July 3, 2015
Was having a pretty good day until I heard about Matt Damon's ponytail.
— Kevin Robert (@sman7rn) July 4, 2015
All I have to say is, a normal cut and color requires three hours in the chair every seven weeks (thank goodness I *love* my stylist because we spend plenty of quality time together) and it's crazy. I truly envy those girls who are like “oh I wake up and spritz my hair with a little sea salt spray and head out the door” with perfect bouncy waves. No. You are not human. So Matt Damon, thank you for understanding how ridiculous hair can be. Also, I love you.
(Photo: Getty Images)