Manti Te’o Just Released Voicemails From ‘Lennay Kekua’ And I Could Not Be More Uncomfortable

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Manti TeoAlright, so. Last night, sitting down with Katie Couric, Manti Te'o released three voicemails that are supposedly from Lennay Kekua, or Ronaiah Tuiasosopo imitating a girl's voice, or the fucking Fighting Irish of Notre Dame auditioning for The Voice. Whoever we're saying it is today. You should definitely listen to them, and form your own opinions, but TMZ is saying they're confirming it's Ronaiah altering his voice to sound like a girl.

Guh. GUHHHH. Here's the thing. I hate this story. I hate it so much. Not because it isn't exciting and intriguing, but because it is making me so effing uncomfortable. I need to know what the eff went down, and who is responsible for what, and why. And let's stop calling it a prank, okay? Because hey, THIS WAS NOT A PRANK. We stopped being allowed to call it a prank when someone spent five hundred hours on it. That's over three months of a full-time job, and that's just time spent actually talking on the phone. It doesn't include time spent creating Twitter accounts, texting, and you know…your actual fucking real life. At this point, from where I stand, no one's coming out of this with a good reputation, and that includes Manti. Either he knew Lennay was fake, in which case it seems really likely that he and Ronaiah were in a relationship, or else he didn't know she was fake, in which case he might need to wear a thicker helmet to football games in the future. Because that is fucking bonkers. How do you not know you're talking to a guy and not a girl for that long?And how are we supposedly proving A. that these are the voicemails that Manti says they are, from back in 2012, and B. that the voice on the recording is Ronaiah?

There are so many options, and all of them are so fucking weird. I was so uncomfortable listening to the voicemails that I was legit giggling, you guys. I'm uninvolved in this situation and I'm still so uncomfortable about it that I'm having an involuntary physical reaction. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS. And I hate things I don't understand. Like gay marriage and the French language.

(Image: Salon)