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Why Oh Why Did Jessica Chastain Say Yes To Mama

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Then they move into a large suburban house because a corrupt children's therapist blackmails them into moving there. Just go with it. Naturally Mama follows them there and sends our heroic uncle straight into a coma. So now Annabel is left raising children she doesn't want — and let me remind you that they're HORRIBLE children. Horrible children, who bear in mind, are being followed around by a ghost who will murder anyone who tries to steal her children away from her.

She's all like “I don't want to raise these children” and her boyfriend is all like “just do this for me.” And I'm like this isn't sacrificing a date night for an important football game, it is raising two insane children possessed by a ghost. It makes no sense.

Their aunt shows up (their murdered mother's sister) and is like “I have children, I think I'd be better at this than you.” But the uncle's like “no, my brother did not murder your sister so your kids can live in a normal home!” And Annabel agrees, even though WHAT!? Why would she agree with that?

Hey sweetheart, your boyfriend's in a coma and his kids are being followed around by a Satanic spirit. GIVE THEM UP! They're not even yours!

But no, she keeps them and falls in love with them and then fights Mama for them. Even though we're not really sure why Mama wants them. Or why Guillermo del Toro didn't make a slight script change where the Mama ghost is their murdered mother's ghost. That would make more sense, you know? It would give us a reason to understand why this spirit is so obsessed with these kids. Especially considering that the Mama ghost in the movie killed her own child. Not exactly someone who screams “I want to be a mother!” to me. But what do I know. I've never raised someone else's feral nieces.

Now with all this said, Jessica Chastain did a good job. But a good job in a bad movie doesn't amount to much. So once again I must ask why she chose this project.

Anyone?

(Photo: Wedding Wire)

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