The German Trailer For Magic Mike Reminds That Us That Everyone Strips In The Same Language

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The internet is like a male stripper who's just waiting for you to strip him down and find his bedazzled thong. It's always there, it's just up to you to invite him into your home and to tear away his snap-off pants. Or so I tell my grandmother when she asks how I find “news stories” to report on each day. During today's treasure hunt I found the German trailer for Magic Mike. It's even more magical than the American version, if you can even believe that.


There's something irresistibly alluring about the fact that Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Matthew McConaughey and the rest of the gang speak German. I mean, I know they're not really speaking German and I know that they're probably at the same level of understanding the language as me. (Which is at the I know two words — sauerkraut and geshundeit — level.) But still, can you imagine if these men were bilingual!? Cody Horn would probably crack a smile and Olivia Munn would go full-frontal. And the Kid would know how to say “can you point me in the direction of an ecstasy dealer?” in German.

But even though this is just wishful thinking (like the sequel being in 3D imax), I just have to remember that a penis pump scene transcends language and speaks to us on an entirely different level . And that's a beautiful thought.