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Macaulay Culkin as a Grown-up Kevin McCallister from Home Alone Will Give You Nightmares

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It's safe to say Home Alone‘s Kevin McCallister had an interesting childhood that would affect him throughout his life. Who knew it could be this bad though? 23 years after Kevin got lost in New York, his real-life counterpart Macaulay Culkin is giving us a taste of life after the Sticky Bandits. It's rough, like never being able to watch Home Alone ever again rough.

The peak into grown-up Kevin's life comes from the premiere episode (aptly titled  “Just Me in the House by Myself”) of new web series :DRYVRS, created by Jack Dishel. Although the name Kevin McCallister is never mentioned in the video, which takes on the form of an Uber journey gone wrong, the man tells a familiar tale. He talks about how at Christmas time his whole family went on vacation forgetting to bring their 8-year-old son who had to defend his house from “two psychopath home invaders.” The incident still causes him nightmares and he gets heated remembering how his parents didn't forget his stupid brother, but somehow forget him, “the cutest f–king 8-year-old in the universe.”

Things take a even weirder turn when a man attacks the car and Kevin has to revert to his old tricks to fight him off. (Wire hanger in the cigarette lighter, Kevin's still got it!). Considering he's still reeling from his childhood escapades, he brings the attacker to his basement to teach him a lesson. In a scene straight out of Saw, except with more Christmas lights, we learn all about the evil plans Kevin has in store. I'll spare you the details but let's just say no Talkboys are involved.

If Macaulay Culkin wanted to forever tarnish the legend of sweet, blonde, resourceful Kevin McCallister- mission accomplished. Not so Merry Christmas, everyone.

 

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