Take It From Lupita Nyong’o’s Sobbing Friend, 12 Years A Slave Is A Bad Date Movie

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Lupita Nyongo Conan February 2014

Last night Lupita Nyong'o went on Conan to continue being fabulous in just about every way. Obviously they got to talking about 12 Years a Slave, that little movie Lupita was in for which she's nominated for an Academy Award that she has a very good chance of winning this Sunday. You know, no big deal. I always wonder how celebrities find entertaining stories to tell on talk shows without repeating themselves or sounding boring, but Lupita avoided that by simply delving into her friend's embarrassing experiences.

Conan asks Lupita what it was like for her friends to see her in such an intense role as a woman facing such a harrowing experience. Turns out one of her friends probably should have tested the movie out first before he decided to bring a date to it. That was just a bad idea all around, not only because it makes for some very depressing post-movie conversation (Let's talk about the horrors of slavery over some tasty chili cheese fries!) and possibly the desire to just curl up under the covers and not see anyone, but also because Lupita's friend is a crier. An armpit-crier, to be more precise. Okay, so he doesn't actually cry from his armpits, but you'll understand what I mean when you watch her explain it.

As a crier myself, I completely sympathize. To be fair, for someone who cries as much as I do, there's really no fool-proof way to predict whether it's safe to see a movie with a date, because even the most mindless romantic comedy tugs on my tear ducts from time to time. But 12 Years a Slave should set off a thousand warning sirens. You should probably have to prove you're not on a first date before you can buy your ticket. Aren't you glad that Lupita's friend was able to teach you this lesson? Save the armpit-crying for a few months into the relationship.