Lindsay Lohan Behaved Like Lindsay Lohan At A Wedding In Florence Last Week

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Last week Lindsay Lohan was for some reason invited to the Florence wedding of Justin Etzin, consul general and ambassador of tourism for the Seychelles (…okay), to model Lana Zakocela. According to Page Six, during the four-day event, Lindsay behaved just as you’d expect her to. By that I of course mean that she was a complete trainwreck. Good to see she’s doing her best to live up to our very low expectations.

According to a source, “it was one thing after the next” from Lindsay. That apparently includes painting her nails and looking at her phone during the ceremony. Wow, impressive. How did she balance it all? Did she bring a mini manicure table with her? Maybe a sink?

But later on, the behavior allegedly escalated from rudeness to whatever this is:

“Lindsay left the reception early. She’d gone back to her villa and was running around naked saying she was drugged.”

Yep. Sounds about right. Gawker points out that she was also wearing white, although it’s not clear which of the four days this was on, or whether white was allowed. Still, it doesn’t make her look any better.

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(Photo: Instagram)

Oh, and wait until you hear this next bit. It’s my favorite part, because it’s just one WTF detail after another.

And while DJing one event with an “Eyes Wide Shut” theme, LiLo “got upset when she thought someone took her photo. She was speaking in a British accent, ‘Who took the photo? Don’t be an idiot.’ She kept playing Brandy’s ‘The Boy Is Mine,’” said the source.

First of all, what does an “Eyes White Shut” theme entail? Do you just eat off paper plates with Tom Cruise’s face on them, or do you actually participate in a creepy cult orgy? Are there masks involved? Second of all, anyone who’s seen The Parent Trap will remember what Lindsay’s British accent is like. Add years of partying into the equation, and you can probably imagine what must have sounded like. Picturing “The Boy Is Mine” playing over and over again during this ordeal is just the icing on the cake.

A rep for Justin Etzin told Page Six, “None of those things are true.” Really? Are you sure about that? Because I don’t think anyone would be able to make this stuff up. Even for an anonymous source, that’s just too creative. Plus, this is Lindsay Lohan, the Picasso of hot messes. I believe it.

(GIF: Tumblr)