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The 7 Most Embarrassing Quotes About Lindsay Lohan’s First Performance In Speed-the-Plow

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Lindsay Lohan bed Scary Movie 5

I know you've already booked your plane ticket to London so you can see Lindsay Lohan on stage in the West End production of David Mamet's play Speed-the-Plow, so I thought it would be helpful to let you know how her debut performance on the first night of previews went. This might shock you to hear, but a lot of people didn't like it. Apparently she had to have lines fed to her several times. Wow, who could have predicted it? Lindsay's always so talented and professional. Oh wait, I'm thinking of another Lindsay. This Lindsay is a total trainwreck in everything she does, so this is not surprising at all.

Those of us who couldn't be there to witness it firsthand thankfully have some comments from a reviewer and Twitter users who were in attendance to let us know what happened. We've rounded up some of the most cringe-worthy quotes about the performance for your reading pleasure.

First, a few comments from The Daily Beast‘s Nico Hines:

1. “After her first audible prompt, which came shortly after the interval, the audience sat patiently. The second led to titters in the stalls. Unfortunately for Lohan, the next line delivered by Richard Schiff (Toby from The West Wing) was: ‘You have done a fantastic job!'”

This should be next to the word “facepalm” in the dictionary.

2. “By now, even her serious lines were being greeted with laughter. ‘I know what it is to be bad, I’ve been bad,' her character Karen emotes. More laughter.”

Remember that list of times we felt secondhand embarrassment for Lindsay Lohan? This certainly is a new addition.

3. “‘Oh my god, it’s so embarrassing,' said a woman in the crowd during an unusually long set change.”

Like I said.

4. “The chaotic second half had not started promisingly when the occupants of the box closest to the stage tipped a glass of champagne over someone in the front row. It ended with a minor wardrobe malfunction as Lohan’s blouse puffed out—untucked—below what was supposed to be a smart new outfit.”

Granted, the champagne thing was out of Lindsay's control, and the wardrobe malfunction didn't reveal anything scandalous, but of course those things would happen on top of everything else. It's like something out of a sitcom.

Despite all of this, Hines insists that Lindsay “remained charming throughout,” and it was “not a complete car crash,” considering it was an early preview performance. Woohoo?

But a lot of Twitter reactions would disagree with that:

5.

This is where Hines got the “car crash” line. So if it wasn't a total car crash, was it perhaps a partial car crash?

6.

The real star.

7.

Yeah, it's always good to follow up not remembering the lines you've been paid to memorize by breaking character and making a joke of it. True professional.

Still, plenty of Lindsay's fans thought she was brilliant, and some people even explained that she wasn't the only one on stage struggling:

I know this was an early performance, but really? Really? This sounds terrible.

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