Lindsay Lohan Waxes Poetic About Her Time In Solitary Confinement, Calls It ‘Weirdly Cathartic’

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Lindsay Lohan Waxes Poetic About Her Time In Solitary Confinement  Calls It  Weirdly Cathartic  Screen Shot 2014 10 25 at 2 00 23 PM png

I think the most troubling thing about Lindsay Lohan lately–at least for me–is how I’m not really annoyed by her anymore. Seriously, I’m not. Instead, all of the side-eye and snark I’ve previously sent her way has been replaced by…pity? Yeah, that sounds harsh. Maybe it’s more like secondhand embarrassment. But I really do feel sorry for her, despite her privilege and stubbornness. I mean, just look at this selfie she posted to Instagram yesterday. Good God, who taught that woman how to wink? Is that even what that’s supposed to be? I’ve seen Dina Lohan make more coherent expressions when she’s drunk as a skunk with Dr. Phil. But, I digress. Yes, I do feel sorry for Lindsay Lohan. Sometimes. And after hearing her explain her feelings on her time in jail a few years ago, you’ll hopefully understand why.

Appearing as a guest on The Jonathan Ross Show, which is a late-night British talk show (she’s basically British now, guys, okay?), Lindsay was prompted to wax poetic about her time in jail back in 2014. Specifically her time in solitary confinement. (Side note: did anyone else NOT know she was in solitary? Because I sure as heck didn’t. Am I a failure as an entertainment blogger? If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound if no one hears it? Who am I? What am I saying?)

“I don’t think anyone knows that but the other girls in the other cells were in there for murder… They said it was for “safety purposes”, I said, ‘what am I going to do?’ The weirdest part for me was I finally had silence in my life. As terrified as I was and as scared as I was, I finally felt like I didn’t have to answer to anyone and I didn’t have to do anything for anyone. That was the weirdest part of it.”

Oy. That just…opened up a fresh can of I Actually Feel Kinda Sorry For Lindsay Lohan for me, and I’m a little uncomfortable with that, but I can’t help it. Sure, she’s got to pay the price for her mistakes (which could have ended up killing someone or herself, something I’m not sure she quite grasps) but solitary confinement seems a bit harsh, don’t you think? Even if she was only in jail for a total of 14 days. What makes me somewhat empathize with her is when she says she “finally had silence” in her life. That’s sad. Then again, she could be exaggerating/embellishing. Like that time she humblebragged about touching Whitney Houston’s remains. Hmmm, maybe I don’t feel sorry for her anymore. 

I blame Dina Lohan. Goodnight.

(Photo: Instagram)