Entertainment

I Hope Lindsay Lohan’s Half-Sister Didn’t Really Get Surgery To Look Like Her

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Lindsay Lohan November 2012In news that I have to believe isn't true if I want to maintain any sort of grasp on reality, Lindsay Lohan‘s estranged half-sister supposedly got plastic surgery to look more like LiLo. Uh-huh, you heard that correctly — estranged half-sister. So she went into the doctor with a photo of a person that she's literally related to and said, “Yes hello, doctor. I should like to look like this human, please.” It's like bringing in a picture of a celebrity to a salon to get your hair cut…except it's a celebrity that you happen to be related to but haven't spoken to in recent memory. Classic.

The estranged half-sister in question goes by the name of Ashley Horn and is eighteen years old. Her mom, Kristi, had an affair with Lindsay's dad (the heralded Michael Lohan) in the early '90s, when he was still married to Lindsay's mom, Dina. By her own estimates, she's had about $25,000 worth of procedures done in five sessions with a Houston surgeon. By age eighteen. Because she is eighteen. Did I mention that this girl is only eighteen?

“I’ve gotten rhinoplasty, a bit of refinement underneath my cheeks and jawline, some fat injected into my chin and some fat injected into my upper cheeks. My goal was to look like Lindsay in her good days, when she was around 18, 19 years old.”

Ah yes, the Lohan glory days. But did it work, Ashley Horn? Do you go to sleep happy and wake up happier? DO YOU FEEL MORE BEAUTIFUL IN YOUR 18-YEAR OLD BODY, ASHLEY HORN?

“I’m hotter than Lindsay! I have no problem saying that.”

Well good. I'm glad we all went about this the right way. Since there's definitely a right way to get surgically altered to look like an estranged famous sibling. But now that Ashley looks like Lindsay, have Lindsay-esque things started happening to her? Like has she been checking herself in and out of rehab facilities and punching fortune-tellers right in their gypsy noses?

“I’m not Lindsay. I wasn’t raised in that family. I don’t drink, do drugs or party. I like being a responsible person.”

I DON'T LIKE LINDSAY I JUST WANTED HER FACE, OKAY?!? CAN'T I HAVE HER FACE? LET ME HAVE IT.

(Image: FayesVision / WENN.com)