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Based On This Instagram Photo, I’m Pretty Sure Lindsay Lohan Only Has One Boob (NSFW)

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Lindsay Lohan boob Instagram March 2015

I have a conspiracy theory to share with all of you, and for once it's not about a fakelationship or a celebrity pretending to be pregnant or Taylor Swift actually being triplets. This one's way more serious than those. It's about Lindsay Lohan only having one boob. I'm serious, you guys. Have you seen her latest Instagram photo? If you haven't, you must have scrolled down too quickly, because it's right at the top of the page. I dare you to tell me that's not a one-boobed woman.

Lindsay explains in her caption that the photo is from a shoot with Notion magazine. The outfit is looks like something I'm pretty sure I've seen Wendy McLendon-Covey wear on The Goldbergs. But that's not what we're here to talk about. We're here to talk about the boob hanging out of her denim jumpsuit. It's a single boob. And sure, you could say the other one is just hiding. But can you tell me with 100% certainty which of her boobs that is? Because I've stared at it for an embarrassing amount of time, and I can't decide. One minute I'm sure it's her right boob, then the next minute I'm studying the shadows and the nipple direction and I'm like maaaaybe it's the left one?

What if I'm so uncertain about it because it's neither the right boob nor the left boob? What if it's just the boob? Not gonna lie, it kind of looks like it's coming out of the middle of her chest. And let's not ignore the hashtag Lindsay used in her caption:

#ShowitWhileYouGotIt

Show it while you got it. “It” is a singular pronoun. As in a singular boob. As in less than two but more than zero. AS IN ONE. We all saw Lindsay's horribly executed ass Photoshop a couple of weeks ago. What if that was purposely botched to make us think she was really bad at Photoshopping herself when in reality she's amazing at it and has convinced the public that she has two boobs? I'm onto you, Lindsay.

(Photo: Instagram)

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