Entertainment

Drugs Are One Thing, But How Are We Gonna Get Lindsay Lohan To Quit Acting?

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Kat Dennings and Lindsay Lohan in wedding dresses for 2 Broke Girls March 2014 InstagramLet me just say first of all, that I'm all about Lindsay Lohan getting rehabilitated back into society and having ever more successes in her battle against addiction. There are a lot of people out there who think (or maybe even hope?) that she won't succeed, and I'm far from one of them. Something about this particular rehab stay for LiLo, and the fact that she has Oprah (mostly) behind her, make me think that this might be it. Sixth time's the charm, right?

But while I'm inexplicably optimistic about her ability to stay focused and avoid relapsing this time around, what I'm more worried about is her career path. Lindsay's made such a big deal over the fact that she can't imagine doing anything but acting, because it's what she loves, but I just don't know that I see this working out for her. I know she's mentioned she wants to win an Oscar one day, but after reading the quotes from a Crazy Days And Nights blogger who sat in on a recent taping of LiLo's guest spot on 2 Broke Girls, I'm like OH GIRL I DUNNO.

“Lindsay was a train wreck… you only want to watch so many collisions before you realize you have better things to do with your life. [We, the audience members] are very familiar with every single one of Lindsay Lohan’s lines and can repeat them all verbatim to you because we heard them so many times last night. There is not a member of the audience who couldn’t do a better job than Lindsay Lohan did last night.”

See what I mean? That's not something you want people saying about you while you're trying to get your life back together.

“Lindsay had a lot of trouble stringing together the various permutations required… the lines were reduced and reduced. There was no point in trying to get it all right because it was not going to happen.”

When people are saying you're having trouble ‘stringing words together', that's definitely not gonna reflect super well on your sobriety.

“There was a scene later on in the show that required Lindsay to say the words Hawaii and Bahamas in succession. She couldn't move her Botoxed muscles enough to get that combination down without pausing between each. It sounded like someone who had injected with Novocaine an hour earlier.”

Yikes. Bottom line — I do think Lindsay can kick drugs. Having seen the travesties that were Liz & Dick and The Canyons, though, I'm not sure she can get over the idea that she's ever going to be a successful actress again.

(Photo: Instagram)