12 Classic Lifetime Movies You Can Watch On Hulu Right Now
What’s that famous saying? The one God said when he came down to Earth that one time in the Bible and watched a bunch of TV? Oh, right: “You can never have enough Lifetime movies.” So you can’t only watch the new movies that premiere on Saturday nights. (Although totally should watch those and then read my recaps the next day — nudge nudge.) There are plenty of older Lifetime movies worth catching up on, and the Internet can help you with that.
Did you know Hulu has an entire section on their site devoted to Lifetime movies? Well, you do now! And the best part is you can stream them for free. There are 25 choices available to you now, but we thought we’d go through and pick out the twelve most promising of the bunch, based on plot, cast, and overall ridiculousness. Go forth, pick your poison, and have the perfect night in. Some of them expire in a couple of weeks, so get watching!
1. To Be Fat Like Me
The year was 2007. Kaley Cuoco was starring in a movie where she went undercover as a fat person in fake-looking prosthetics and had her point of view changed. What a time to be alive.
2. The Haunting of Sorority Row
Leighton Meester stars as a college freshman pledging a sorority, not realizing the house is haunted by the ghost of a former pledge who wants revenge. Watch the behind-the-scenes clip above and witness the cast and director try to keep a straight face about it.
3. An Unexpected Love
By “unexpected,” this movie’s title means “lesbian.” It’s about a woman in a crumbling marriage who becomes attracted to her co-worker. Her female co-worker. GASP.
4. On Thin Ice
Oh look, a movie where Diane Keaton plays a single mom who wears turtlenecks. Definitely never seen that before. Anyway, in this movie Diane starts selling drugs to help her ill son, and she ends up addicted to her own stuff. Then she gets clean and goes undercover to bust the gang she used to work for. Obviously.
5. The Secret Life of Zoey
According to the Hulu description, this movie is about a seemingly “perfect child” who becomes addicted to drugs, leading her family’s “lives to spiral out of control.” If had a dollar…
6. Double Cross
In a reference to and/or blatant rip-off of the Hitchcock movie Strangers on a Train, this movie is about a couple of ladies who joke about killing each other’s husbands. But then one of them actually does it! So… that’s not good.
7. Augusta, Gone
This one’s all about a teenager who rebels! That rebellion apparently includes raccoon makeup, questionable blue hair streaks, smoking, beer, shoplifting, and Avril Lavigne music. How will her poor mother cope?
8. The Perfect Neighbor
Movies with “Perfect” in the title are always great because it means that things actually aren’t perfect. Shocking! This movie is from 2005 but looks like it’s from 1985. Highlights include floppy disks, crowbar fights, off-the-shoulder sweaters, pushing people down stairs, and flippy haircuts.
9. Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life
By “cyber seduction,” this title means porn. And by “his secret life” (another one?), it means a teenage boy being addicted to porn. Or, as he says in this trailer, “pornography.” Because that’s totally something a teenage boy should say. The teenage boy is played by Jeremy Sumpter, aka Peter Pan, so that’s fun.
10. Anna’s Storm
Apparently this movie was at one point called Hell’s Rain, so that’ll give you some idea of the quality. It’s about a huge, destructive, bad-CGI-laden meteor shower. So like a Syfy movie, but for ladies!
11. They Shoot Divas, Don’t They?
Jennifer Beals is an ’80s pop star who hires a seemingly perfect assistant who is actually seeking revenge! Aren’t they all? Please watch the above music video immediately. Like, right this second. I don’t care what you’re doing. Drop it and watch.
12. Miracle Run
Remember that movie starring Mary Louise Parker as the mother of autistic twin brothers? Remember how it was actually pretty inspiring? Remember how one of the kids was baby Zac Efron? Well, now you know. Apparently at one point the title became The Unexpected Journey. Um, I think the first Hobbit movie would like this movie to go home and change.