Lifetime Movie With This Ring: Just Calm The Eff Down About Marriage Already

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Lifetime Movie With This Ring  Just Calm The Eff Down About Marriage Already Lifetime Movie With This Ring January 2015 jpg

It must be Opposite Weekend, because there’s an honorary Lifetime movie called The Boy Next Door playing in theaters, and meanwhile last night Lifetime aired a formulaic rom-com called With This Ring. As you can probably tell from the title, it was about marriage. Or rather, women’s desperation for marriage. Oh boy, here we go again.

The movie’s three main characters, played by Regina Hall, Eve Jeffers Cooper (better known simply as Eve, or the lady with the bear claws on her boobies) and Jill Scott, are three single women acting as bridesmaids at the New Year’s Eve wedding of one of their friends. As we all know from every movie ever, being a single bridesmaid is the worst thing that can ever happen to a woman. Instead of being happy for their friend, they all sit around feeling sorry for themselves and make a vow that in one year’s time, they’ll be married. Otherwise, they’ll settle for “that guy,” aka the guy who’s always wanted to date them but they’re just not that into.

And this seems like a good idea because…? Oh right, it’s not a good idea. It’s a terrible idea that three grown women should know better than to agree on. Because what is this desperation to just be married no matter the circumstances that so many women seem to have? Or at least that so many women in movies seem to have?

There is no logic in it. Wouldn’t you rather not be married at all than married to someone you don’t even care about just to say you’re married? Of course, this is the lesson all three women learn as the movie goes on, but as someone who views finding her soul mate as time better spent eating potato chips and watching Netflix, I spent the movie yelling “Duh!” and “Yeah, I know!” and “Of course!” at the screen every time they had a breakthrough.

This is a movie where Jill Scott’s character has a literal heart attack because she finds out that her ex, who she’s been hoping to get back together with, has a girlfriend. It’s also a movie where Regina Hall’s character settles for her own ex when he asks her to marry him, even though a.) he’s awful, b.) he cheated on his fiancee with her, and c.) she’s been hanging out with a really nice guy who is clearly into her. So she’d rather settle on a guy she doesn’t even care about just to meet a fake deadline she’s set for herself than wait a little longer and have real happiness with a guy she actually likes. DUDES, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

I understand that the whole point of the movie was for her to learn this lesson, but it certainly doesn’t cast women in a very flattering light. And it doesn’t help that she has to have a man — the one she obviously wants to be with and who she of course ends up with — explain all of this to her. And then she still doesn’t get it and only realizes she’s made the wrong decision when she’s walking down the aisle. It’s 2015, why are we still having this conversation? JUST STOP.

This has been a rant.

(Image: Lifetime)