If The Couple In Lifetime’s Sole Custody Weren’t Cops, The Movie Would Not Be Possible

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It's about this time that a mysterious figure breaks into Zoey's house to do some rather unsavory things. We're meant to think it's the cyber stalker she's trying to catch, because we've had that red herring shoved down our throats for the entire first half of the movie. Whoever it is, they take the battery out of the smoke detector and switch out Zoey's tea bags. Muahahahaha, I bet they made it English Breakfast instead of Early Grey. What an evil thing to do. Or, you know, I guess it could be laced with something. That too. All of this leads to a house fire that seems to kill little Timmy. Zoey blames herself, because that tea knocked her out and she couldn't get to him in time to save him from all that fake-looking CGI smoke.

Turns out the cops blame her for it too. First they obviously suspect the cyber stalker, but then they raid his house and discover it's just some nerdy 16-year-old, which I guess means it couldn't have been him? I don't really understand their reasoning. Nevertheless, it's determined that the fire was caused by a cigarette, and Zoey's cop friends know she quit smoking but picks it back up when she's stressed. Not only that, but the toxicology reports show she had nicotine, sleeping pills and alcohol in her system. So obviously they think she killed her son. Even her BFF is like, “Yeah… I'm pretty sure you killed him, buddy.”

Zoey starts to suspect that maybe Barry had something to do with this when she spots one of Timmy's stuffed animals in his car. Zoey starts trying to prove she was framed, which is made easier by the fact that she's a cop who's good with computers. But first she has to disguise herself with a wig she finds in a bum's shopping cart. I'm sure it's not lice-infested or anything. She then heads to an Internet cafe, where she uses her tech skills to hack into the police database and learn the details of that car accident Barry was called to. You know how I said it wouldn't be important? I lied.

Zoey also manages to sneak into the morgue pretending to be tech support, and with a few perfect keystrokes, she discovers that the car accident boy's dental records perfectly match the supposed dental records of Timmy's dead body. So Barry used his position as a cop to plant another kid's dead body at the scene and make everybody think it was Timmy, and then Zoey used her own skills as a cyber cop to discover that he did that. If they weren't cops, this movie would be over halfway through. By the way, my TV guide told me that not only was the death fake, but Barry did it, which really made the movie so much fun to watch.

But wait! Zoey still has to prove that Timmy's alive, but first she recruits that nerdy 16-year-old who was stalking her, because he's really good with computers and there's some far-fetched manipulation of technology that has to happen to prove Barry's guilty. Barry has turned in his badge, and he and Timmy are leaving town. Zoey tracks them down at a motel, and her teenage stalker manages to hack into the security cameras and send a convenient livestream of the proceedings to the cops. On top of that, Zoey presses one button on her phone and suddenly her confrontation with Barry is being recorded and sent directly to the cops as well. This is some serious CSI-“enhance”-level usage of technology.

I should also mention at this point that Zoey has also stolen a gun from her cop friend, and she uses it to threaten Barry. There's a lot of fighting and arguing, all caught on camera and sent to the police, of course. Eventually Zoey makes Barry think she has blown up the car where Timmy is supposedly waiting. “Now you know how it feels,” she tells him before pulling Timmy out from behind a dumpster. He's surprisingly chipper for a little boy who just witnessed a car explosion extremely close to him. One of the cops at the precinct summed up my response to all this perfectly: “What just happened?!”

Barry is arrested and Zoey gets her son back and everything works out. Good thing they were cops, right? #Sigh.

(Images: Lifetime)

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