Lifetime Movie Holly’s Holiday Operates Under The False Idea That Women Fantasize About Male Mannequins

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This week Lifetime continued to stretch the idea of what a holiday movie is with a reverse-gender Mannequin set at Christmastime. Holly's Holiday stars Claire Coffee as an ad exec dreaming about falling in love with the perfect man. Get in line behind the other Lifetime heroines, honey!

Oh wait, did I say the perfect man? I meant the perfect mannequin. Because she walks past the male mannequin in a window display and stares at him longingly while explaining to her friend that she wishes he were real so he could sweep her off her feet.

I don't know about you, but I've never dreamed of marrying a mannequin. A chef specializing in fried foods? Yes. Disney's Aladdin? In a heartbeat. But I've never looked at a pasty 6-foot doll with hair the same color as his skin and a brightly colored sweater tied around his shoulders and thought, “There he is. My future husband.” Not even those headless Hollister mannequins with the washboard abs. Maybe if I had Lars and the Real Girl Syndrome. But that seems like kind of a niche audience for Lifetime to make a movie for.

Nevertheless, Holly's mannequin dreams come true when she trips on the sidewalk and is rescued by the very mannequin she lusted after, who has come to life as a hottie named Bo (Ryan McPartlin). Hey, I fall on the sidewalk all the time! What gives, universe?!

Holly begins a romance with Bo, despite the fact that she's working on an account with her one true love (He was the first attractive young guy to show up in the movie, therefore as an experienced Lifetime viewer I knew he was her one true love), a hipster photographer named Milo (Jeff Ward).

Unfortunately, Mannequin God does not give with both hands, because Bo is pretty intolerable. He toasts to “fairy tale beginnings” and says, “Our lips fit perfectly together” when they kiss. I just threw up a little bit of my fa la la la latte.

Bo also manages to screw up Holly's photo shoot by insisting she use a famous photographer he knows and then allowing his crazy ex-girlfriend (also a mannequin — he didn't have his “head screwed on straight” when they were dating) to storm in and destroy everything. Apparently even mannequins come with baggage. Who knew?

Thankfully Holly comes to her senses and breaks up with Bo at the company Christmas party, and then she falls on the sidewalk again while chasing after Milo. What is on these sidewalks that she's tripping so easily?

Here's where the story takes a clichéd turn. I know what you're thinking. This is Lifetime! Every turn is a clichéd turn! But no. This movie takes the ultimate clichéd turn. The turn no movie after The Wizard of Oz is allowed to take and still be considered good. Do you know where I'm going with this? I've watched a lot of Lifetime movies, but I've never seen one use the “It was all a dream” ending. Not even Liz & Dick ended with the real Elizabeth Taylor waking up from the horrible nightmare of having Lindsay Lohan play her.

Yep, it turns out that when Holly fell the first time, she went unconscious for two days and dreamed everything that happened until she fell the second time. That is, dream-fell. INCEPTION!

Somehow Holly realizes she's really in love with Milo, even though all the cute things he did for her (like giving her an adorbable viewfinder of all her ad campaigns) were only in her head. One time I dreamed I was in love with a time-traveling Leonardo DiCaprio (true story), but I didn't wake up and go track Leo down and profess my love for him because he looked good in those sunglasses he wore in my dream and told me he'd miss me when he went back to 1964. Lifetime, get with the program.

(Image: Lifetime)