Lifetime Movie Babysitter’s Black Book Was Fifty Shades Of Ewwwwwwww

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Lifetime Movie Babysitter s Black Book Was Fifty Shades Of Ewwwwwwww Lifetime movie Babysitters Black Book jpg

I have a question for you. If you were a high school student, and you found out you wouldn’t be able to pay for the expensive college you want to go to, what would you do? A.) Apply to a cheaper school, B.) Apply for financial aid and scholarships, C.) Get a job, or D.) Become a teenage prostitute? The answer is obviously D. At least, according to last night’s Lifetime movie Babysitter’s Black Book. As you can probably imagine, it was gross.

Our main character is Ashley (Spencer Locke), your typical teenage Lifetime protagonist. She’s obviously an awesome student who’s well-liked at school, and her parents are very proud of her. She also makes really, really bad decisions. We first meet her when she’s late for class, because that’s totally something a girl at the top of her class would do and makes total sense for her character. (It does not. I am being sarcastic.) Ashley gives a presentation about a business she started with her friends called Family Buddies, in which she hires out girls to babysit and tutor for families. Her teacher asks her to ponder if there are any other services her business can provide. Funny you should ask that, teacher…

Ashley soon learns that her parents have to dig into her college fund to pay their bills, which means she might have to attend a community college until they can pay her back. Obviously Ashley is very upset about this, because she had her heart set on UCLA or Berkley or something similarly expensive, because she works really hard and is late for class sometimes, dammit! If only she had the same idea as Rachel (Angeline Appel), her friend and fellow babysitter who’s already added prostitute to her resume. She tells her friend Janet (Lauren York), who wants in.

Meanwhile, Ashley talks to one of the families she works for about her desperate situation. The father, Mark (Ryan McPartlin), offers to help Ashley pay for some of her college expenses. Because that’s not creepy at all. Which is why Ashley is totally thrilled and doesn’t get at all suspicious. Because like I said, it’s not creepy. (It is creepy. I’m being sarcastic again.) Mark invites Ashley over to his house when his family’s out to help her with her college essay, and he literally feeds her candy to win her over before offering to fly with her to visit his fancy alma mater Pressman. Just the two of them. Overnight. While her parents think she’s on a school trip, because he tells her to lie. This time Ashley is only slightly creeped out, but agrees anyway.

While on their trip, they decide to go to a concert in town, and Mark gifts Ashley with a nice dress, telling her to put it on and then marveling at how “stunning” she is. This would be a good time for Ashley to be officially creeped out, but it doesn’t happen. It also doesn’t happen later when they dance together and end up kissing. Or when they go back to the hotel and have sex. Or the next morning when Ashley expresses regret and it just takes a couple of excuses about Mark having problems with his wife for her to be totally into it again. Because she’s a smart, responsible young woman, haven’t you heard? (She’s also 17, FYI.)

It’s about this time that Rachel and Janet admit to Ashley and their virgin photographer friend Gilli (Steffani Brass), who would never ever in a million years be friends with these girls, that they’ve become prostitutes. Instead of being like, “OMG, me too!” Ashley just keeps her mouth shut and judges them. Then she goes and has office sex with Mark.

But one older, married dude who promises to pay for college isn’t enough for Ashley, because she also goes to a party with a guy from school, and they kiss. Mark learns she went out with someone else and forbids her from sleeping with him. Ashley is very creeped out by this (FINALLY!) and breaks up with him. Unfortunately Mark starts lurking around her house and threatening to tell her parents what went on between them, so she agrees to meet him at a bar, where he kisses her. Rachel just so happens to be with her married guy at the same bar, and she sees them. Cue a big speech about Ashley being a hypocrite. Because obviously that’s the biggest problem with this whole situation.

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