Did Someone Say They Wanted To See Lena Dunham Eating Cake Naked On The Toilet?

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You know what the Emmys always messes up on, like every single year? There's not nearly enough nudity. I'm not talking nip slips or upper thigh glimpses. I'm talking about full-on Fifty Shades of Grey nudity.

Like all the sexual reproductive organs just hanging out for the world to see.

Thankfully Lena Dunham, the writer/producer/director/craft services manager/costume designer/intern/chiropractor for the billion-times-Emmy-nominated Girls, totally gets this. That's why she kicked off the 2012 Emmys by showing up naked  (or in the nude as my Gallery Girls might say) in the opening video.

Sorry Mindy Kaling and Kathy Bates. Hardly saw you there because I was so entranced by Lena Dunham's brave move.

I mean she's not only naked, but she's also eating cake on a toilet stall. That's the American dream right there. Maybe I misread the Constitution, but I think this is what it's all about!

That's what we fought for so hard during the Revolutionary War — the privilege to get naked on primetime TV and eat cake on the toilet!

God bless Lena Dunham for reminding us what this country's really all about.

Carry on Emmys. Try to one-up Naked Lena Dunham. I dare you. (No, I really dare you Jon Hamm.)