Kristen Stewart And Robert Pattinson Aren’t Going To The Final Twilight Conventions Because Of Course They Aren’t

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In a move devastating to every Twi-hard on the planet, it's been officially announced that neither Kristen Stewart nor Robert Pattinson will be attending the final conventions for Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2. Previously, people had been hoping that they'd avoid each other by switching off and going to different conventions, but nay nay nay. They're skipping them altogether, undoubtedly because of the fallout from Kristen's highly publicized affair with Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. Which actually makes sense if you think about it, because a. There's no way reporters wouldn't be asking Kristen and Rob about each other even if the other one wasn't there, and b. It builds up anticipation for the movie, when audiences finally get to see them together again. See? See what they're doing? I'm such a genius.

So yeah, the fact that K-Stew and R-Patz will be missing in action is pretty logical. What isn't logical is that Taylor Lautner will be skipping the conventions as well. Like…all of them? Instead of Googling him to find out if he has some other film he's promoting or shooting at the same time, I'm gonna do some wild speculation. My first guess is that Kristen and Rob have a shared custody agreement for Taylor. So much like parents going through a divorce, they pulled him out of school and now he spends weeks with Papa Rob and weekends with Mama Kristen. It may be stressful now, but think about Christmas and birthdays! You'll get double the presents, Tay-Tay! Don't cry!

It's also possible that Taylor himself is having an affair with Rupert Sanders and didn't want to explain himself, or that he turned into an actual werewolf, or that he was already scheduled for a shirt-ripping-off contest against himself those weekends. Anything's possible, but don't worry, Creation Entertainment wants you to know that:

“Although Rob, Kristen, and Taylor will not be with us this time out we will have a super line-up of other Twilight stars and the weekend will be filled with special events, movie prop and costume displays, contests, panels, auctions, parties, exclusive merchandise, music and much more, including some surprises!”

Cool, Creation Entertainment. I'm sure the Twi-hards won't mind the film's three biggest stars opting out, as long as there are some surprising t-shirts!

(Image: Zibi / WENN.com)