Entertainment

The Suspense Continues To Build In This ‘Will Robert Pattinson Forgive Kristen Stewart For Cheating’ Publicity Stunt

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The latest headlines about Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson all revolve around his broken heart and her sorry ass. The tension builds as everyone continues to ask, “Will Robert Pattinson take Kristen Stewart back after she cheated on him with Rupert Sanders?”

And the answer is obviously yes. The timing just needs to be right to maximize the media attention they'll get when they reunite. Otherwise that would make this entire publicity stunt completely pointless.

And right now we're reaching the point of the plot where they're building suspense, an anything-can-happen atmosphere where the audience is left holding their breath and praying for Kristen Stewart's redemption and Robert Pattinson's forgiveness.

We're left hoping they can make it through this storm, because true love always prevails. In real life and in the movies. Especially movies about vampire love like Breaking Dawn: Part 2. (Coming out this November! Did you know that???)

Of course, we know now that this is all fake and that the powers that be are manipulating our emotions. Nothing adds up in this entire scandal and it's becoming increasingly clear that Kristen Stewart did not actually cheat with Rupert Sanders.

But that hasn't stopped Us Weekly from printing their lastest story about poor lovelorn Robert Pattinson. The distraught boyfriend who's taking some time to reflect on his relationship…at Reese Witherspoon's vacation ranch? Sure. That makes sense. Let's go with it.

While Reese Witherspoon's ranch doesn't quite fit into my puzzle, I understand why he's staying at a private residence and not at a hotel. Just because the current script calls from him to be distraught, doesn't mean that he is right now.

His team can feed the media whatever lines they want and Robert doesn't have to do any sad puppy dog face acting. The risk is too high at a hotel that an employee could catch him smiling — or god forbid, laughing. So off to Reese Witherspoon's ranch he goes.

Meanwhile Kristen Stewart's team reports the following:

An “inconsolable” Stewart, meanwhile, has been reaching out via texts and phone calls.  “She's dying to save the relationship. It's the only thing she cares about,” a Stewart source says.

Like I said, the suspense is building. Kristen Stewart is nearing the point of death, she's struggling so hard to salvage this relationship.

Now it's just up to us to figure out when they'll have their public reconciliation dinner. My current guess? After his new movie Cosmopolis comes out in August. He still needs to milk the press for “brave Robert Pattinson walks the red carpet” headlines for that one.

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