Ben Affleck Valiantly Dropped Out Of Focus Because He Didn’t Want To Have An Affair With Kristen Stewart

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Ben AffleckPoor Ben Affleck. After making the mistake of signing onto Focus with notorious maneater Kristen Stewart, he allegedly felt forced to drop out due to mounting pressures from himself to have an affair with the young star. Mostly because the International Internet Commenting Community made it increasingly clear that it would happen. It, of course, being the affair that would undoubtedly ruin his marriage with Jennifer Garner.

Ever since Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with her married director Rupert Sanders way back in summer 2012, no penis-haver in Hollywood has felt safe around her. She attracts married men at the same rate that she attracts magazine headlines — and you don't have to be a mathematician to know that's a deadly combo.

Since she is a woman and since biologists recently proved men have no control over their actions around a woman, it makes sense that Ben Affleck dropped out of this film. It would simply be too dangerous for him to be so close to her. One day they'd be talking about a scene and the next day they'd be making out in the middle of a road. I don't think the word inevitable has ever held more meaning.

At the moment he's claiming scheduling conflicts, but I think we're all wise enough to know that's Hollywood code for “me want sex with movie woman, but me knows that's a bad idea.”

So he's officially out. What man will step up to the role next? And what marriage will then be destroyed forever? These are the questions that will keep me awake at night.

(Photo: Vanessa Pacheco, PacificCoastNews.com)