Kris Jenner Says She’s Banned Bruce From All Talk Shows … Except Hers, Apparently

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Kris Jenner Jimmy Fallon video July 2013

You might remember last month when Kris Jenner sent her husband Bruce out of the house in his nicest suit with a fresh sandwich in his backpack so he could sit on Jimmy Fallon's show and advertise gush about his wonderful family. She reminded him to use as many K words as possible, since they're paid by the K, and then crossed her fingers that Bruce wouldn't go as rogue as the part in his hair and ruin things for her. You might also remember the outcome of Bruce's outing. Namely that it resulted in him confronting Jimmy Fallon about all those plastic face jokes, and also testing out his prop comedy skills at the same time. You might be wondering what Kris thought when Bruce got home that night. Well lucky you, because Kris Jenner sat in that very same chair last night and told Jimmy all about it. Get your popkorn ready, because this is gonna be good.

After teasing that the whole family (EVERYONE) went to a beach house for the Fourth of July and then acting coy about whether that included North West, Kris starts talking about Bruce-Gate 2013. Most of that involves saying how “manic” Bruce was during his appearance. She also reveals that Bruce practiced his jokes in front of a mirror for a month beforehand, which unfortunately disproves my theory that he's a vampire but confirms my theory that everything the Kardashians say is rehearsed for at least 30 days before they say it. This whole time Jimmy is disagreeing with her, saying what a great, entertaining guest Bruce was, because he's a sweetheart but also because he knows this is a trap to get him to say something else negative about the Kardashian klan, which would result in immediate konsequences.

But my favorite part of this whole thing is when Kris says she had to ban Bruce from all talk shows after his absolutely mortifying behavior (which she was the first to bring up here, I might add), and even tells Jimmy not to extend the open invitation he tries to extend like a late night gentleman. And then it happens. Jimmy asks if Bruce will make an appearance on her show, and once Kris realizes the conversation has shifted to her, she forgets everything she just ranted about and says, “I hope so!” You heard it there first, my friends. Bruce is absolutely insane and should never show his face on a talk show again… unless it happens to be Kris's show and she can gets some of those sweet, sweet manic Bruce ratings over on her end. The circle of Kris is komplete.