Bring On The Apocalypse : Kris Jenner Keeps Track Of Her Children Via Google Alerts

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[Insert long paragraph about Kris Jenner being the worst stage parent of all time. Then insert prayer circle of people who would like to see Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner graduate high school before releasing a sex tape.]

Now that we got that out of the way, let's talk about the latest in absolutely Krazy Kardashian news. Kris Jenner went on Bethenny Frankel's talk show to talk about how all proceeds from her reality shows go to charity  her children. Of course she said nothing that normal parents would say. Because her parenting's so far beyond normal that it wouldn't make sense if she responded rationally to anything that Bethenny asked about her parenting techniques.

Bethenny: How do you keep an eye on them?  How do you know what they are doing? I mean it’s LA and they’re in the public eye also. They have some much going on. How do you even know what they are doing?

Kris: I have Google alerts.

Bethenny: And have you really found out [where they are]?

Kris: Yeah, are you kidding? I get Google alerts several times a day and it’s so hysterical because I’ll go that’s where my children are, really…They’ll come home and go oh we were at so and so’s house.  Well, no you weren’t. You were in Malibu at Nobu because I saw you…

Of course she tracks her children via Google Alerts. Why wouldn't she? I guess her children are stalked to the point that it's an option, so she might as well take advantage. Or she could take a step back from the fame game and realize that the fact she's even able to do this is INSANE.

Octomom levels of insane.

It's time to put an end to this madness and Kris Jenner is the only one that could do it. She needs to step away from the spotlight. Lock her doors. Delete the raw sex tape footage. Rip up the contracts. Spit in the face of E! And apologize to everyone. Except Scott Disick, because he's the worst.