In Totally Unsurprising News, Kim Kardashian Wants To Have Sex With Kim Kardashian

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Celebrities arriving at LAX airport

Hey ladies! If you were magically a man for a day, what would you do? Personally, I'd probably run around peeing on cop cars and jerking off on subway trains, because male me is a sociopath. But if you were male Kim Kardashian, you would find regular Kim Kardashian and make love to her, post haste.

On a recent episode of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami, Kim received a questionnaire from human sexuality journal Cosmopolitan. It asked her what she would do if she were a man for a day, and she said, “I would want to know what it’s like to have sex with myself. I would just want to know what it would feel like.”

Holy smokes! Do you mean to tell me that Kim Kardashian, ultimate personal brand, reality TV star, self-merchandiser, self-promoter and self-portrait photographer, would like to know what it's like to literally fuck herself? Color me shocked.

Of course, she doesn't get into the logistical difficulties of this, like: if Kim Kardashian transformed into a man, would there even be a Kim Kardashian left for male Kim to have sex with? Or maybe the half-used tube of red lipstick that serves as her soul would enter an entirely new (magically created) male person, leaving OG Kim a hollow shell devoid of all sex appeal? Can you even perform this kind of maneuver without a proper human soul? Find out next time on Kourtney and Kim Take Miami!

(Via The Sun)

Photo: WENN