Kim Kardashian Has Started Hiding in Closets to Avoid Her Own Daughter
Kim Kardashian posted on her website and app about how hard it's been for her having two children instead of just one. If you thought hearing about it through her phone conversation with Kendall Jenner was bad, just you wait until you read this. It's almost as entertaining as that time she told us her daily routine.
You may have thought all the complaining Kim did about her pregnancy would end once she had the baby, but you would be wrong. Turns out having two children is an absolute fucking nightmare, to the point where Kim has taken to literally hiding from her own children.
“I’m up at 4 a.m., pumping and delirious, hiding in my daughter’s closet because if she sees I snuck out of her bed, she will start to cry AND I think she gave me a cold so I figure no better time to write a #StraightUp than now!”
I'm a little confused here. Why would hiding in the closet prevent North from crying when she wakes up and finds her mother gone from her bed? Or is she just trying to stay away from those gross child cooties North is so clearly using as a weapon against her? You know who else hides in closets? Girls in horror movies. Is this what North looks like through Kim's eyes?
By the way, if you're wondering what North's closet looks like, here's a photo Kim posted on Instagram last month, which she captioned, “It's gonna be a long night…” Now just replace North with Kim Kardashian deliriously pumping breast milk while typing away on her laptop, and you've set the scene.
Kim's fear of her own daughter has got me thinking that maybe I've been wrong all this time about North. Maybe she's not trying to escape the Kardashians, she's actually trying to rule them as a ruthless dictator. It certainly sounds like it's working. Just look at her in that photo. There should be a thought bubble that reads, “It's all going according to plan.”