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Kim And Kanye Aren’t Getting Married This Summer, So Quit Asking

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West at Paris Fashion Week March 2013Okay guys, please quit harassing Kim Kardashian and Kanye West about when they're going to get married. They are very private people who are unused to the spotlight, and your continued prying into their not-at-all televised affairs is both rude and uncalled for. Just because they're having a baby this summer and Kim just got her divorce from Kris Humphries finalized does NOT mean they're jumping straight into something new. I don't know where you could've gotten that idea. Certainly not from Kim's constant, well-publicized desire to get married and be married and live happily ever marriaged. But just so you know, it is TOTALLY NOT HAPPENING THIS SUMMER. And here's why, according to quotes given to In Touch by a source:

  • Kim is fat. “Kim wouldn't ever get married fat. So they wouldn't marry then, even if Kanye had asked.”
  • Kanye didn't ask. See above.
  • The rumored location is totes wrong. “Total BS on the wedding reports. They would never get married in Big Sur. That is so not her.”
  • Ain't no ring. “I have no idea [what it will look like],” says Kim's jeweler, “I haven’t done it yet.”
  • It's just not, okay?! “The wedding isn't happening.”

So there you have it, guys. Everybody knows you can't have a fat bride. HA! Fat people can't promise to love each other forever; everybody knows that. Oh and also, it's totally okay to call pregnant ladies fat now, guys. It's 2013, stop being mesmerized by their innate and incredible ability to foster human life within their own magical bodies and get with the fucking times.

(Image: WENN.com)

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