Kim Kardashian Was Bored On Her Honeymoon, So It’s All Downhill From Here

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Kim Kardashian raising her eyebrows while drinking red wine GIFIn news that will surprise absolutely no one, apparently Kim Kardashian was bored out of her mind on her honeymoon with Kanye West. I guess nobody told her that after a wedding came other parts where you'd have to change out of your fancy clothes and let your guests go home and just hang out with your new spouse one-on-one…because she was having none. of. it.

Honestly you guys, I'm so excited to share this story with you that I almost don't even know where to begin. But I guess the fact that they went to Ireland is a good place to start. When I first hear that, last week, I was confused. There are a lot of places I can picture Kimye gingerly touching hands and smizing toward a camera, but most of them are sunny and sandy and beachy, and Ireland is decidedly not one of them.

I couldn't figure out why they would've chosen that destination, until Radar Online informed me that they didn't. Kanye chose it, and he surprised Kim with it. And she was piiiiiiissed.

“[Kanye took them to Ireland] even though both had already spent time there before. It was also where Kris and Bruce Jenner spent their honeymoon. Staying at a five star resort in Cork, Ireland, wasn’t enough for Kim.”

OH my god. Either Kanye doesn't know Kim at all, or he's trolling her, trying to get this divorce moving. And either option is equally hilarious to me.

“She complained during phone calls to Kris that she was bored and just wanted to go shopping, but the lack of high end retailers really irked her. Kanye did plan a bike riding outing, but they brought two assistants with them.”

Oh my goddddd. So that's why they went to the movies twice in one day! They had to find something to distract from talking to each other, but there was no shopping! I absolutely cannot handle this.

“Kris tried to tell Kim to just relax and enjoy it, but she wasn’t having it.”

I feel like this is the kind of advice that Michelle Duggar would give her daughters after they got married, except it'd be about having sex for the first time. “Just close your eyes and try to relax — he'll tell you when it's over.”

And even the things that Kanye did plan, Kim didn't want to do.

“Kanye had planned an outing in Dublin that included a private tour of Trinity College, but Kim persuaded him not to go. The idea of going to old museums as Kim says, would have just bored her to death. All she wants to do is shop. There isn’t a lot going on with her other than that.”

This has to be a joke, right? First of all, isn't a honeymoon sort of supposed to be one of the most fun parts about a marriage? So if it isn't fun, what will be? And second of all, why why why would Kanye ever think that Kim would want to tour an old college during hers? Did this whole marriage just become a game of chicken? Whoever says ‘uncle' first has to keep North?

I'm obsessed.

(Image: Perez Hilton)