Khloe and Lamar Memorable Quotes: Moochers and Fatties

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Holy Calories! The opening shot of this week’s episode of Khloe and Lamar shows that Khloe and Lamar have a whole jar of Oreos just sitting on their counter. How does she burn that off? Quicktrim, of course!

So from the first few scenes, we learn that this is obviously a Malika episode (because we all care about her), and we learn that Malika wants a boob job.

Dr. Khloe: “I definitely think that you have like body dysmorphia.”

Jeez Khloe, Malika just wants “a new set of twins.” Khloe isn’t buying it. She thinks Malika just wants to change her body because of her recent break-up from a married man.

Brrring. Brrrrinnng. Lamar’s dad is calling for Lamar in the next scene while Lamar and Jamie are talking about tattoos.

Lamar’s Dad: “On the real side, Lamar, all I need is one more solid though. Hawaii, Santa Barbara..that’d be cool.”

He wants to go on a father-son vacay with Lamar, but Lamar doesn’t think he can handle him for that long. Jamie, the biggest mooch, obviously supports Lamar reconnecting with his moochy dad.

Khloe and Malika go to a bra store because Khloe wants to show her BFF that bras can do amazing things, so there’s no need for a boob job. When the bra-measuring woman measures Malika, we learn that Malika is not a 34 like she thought…she’s a 30. Kill me, please.

Khloe: “We’re taking you to Mcdonalds immediately.”

Girl needs a Big Mac.

Khloe wants to show Malika how delusional she is, so she shows Malika her Armenian body, and Malika says:

Malika: “You could get lipo if you wanted to.”

What a frenemy. Seriously Malika, no one would know your name if it wasn’t for Khloe (plus, why would Khloe do lipo when she has Quicktrim?)

After the commercial break, Lamar goes to dinner with his dad, and the first thing his dad says is:

Lamar’s dad: “Lamar, you got any bracelets that you don’t use? Any nice bracelets I can have?”

Lamar: “That’s whack, Jack.”

Then there is actually family bonding where they talk about their family and about when Lamar's mother died in 1992. Lamar’s dad talks about his stint in Vietnam. Then Lamar explains Vietnam in the same documentary style Khloe did last week when she explained the Armenian genocide? If E! is trying to make this show educational, they should stop now.

Malika and Khloe are driving, and Khloe is obvi still mad even though she says that she isn’t.

Khloe: “Why don’t I just get lipo and give you my fat to put into your breasts.”

We learn at Malika’s consultation that she does not consider the Khloe’s fat into boobs option. The doc explains the side effects of implants, and Malika appears to be freaking out. Malika looks at pictures of woman with the same boob size as her, and she LOVES them, but she just can’t figure out why she doesn’t like that size on her.

Lamar and Khloe have been invited by the Marines to Camp Pendleton. Khloe thinks that will help Lamar see what his dad went through in Vietnam….and it works!

Lamar: “A lot of people look up to athletes, but we’re nothing compared to you guys.”

Lamar now understands his father and knows why he couldn’t be a dad to him. He decides to go on vacation with his dad. Also his dad needs money for a hooded sweater.

Malika goes over to Khloe’s and tells her she isn’t getting the surgery. It isn’t important to her anymore. Malika said she could just hear Khloe’s voice gnawing at her brain.

Khloe: “Well I am fat, I gnaw on a lot of things.”

I love Khloe. She always makes me laugh. I would rather hang out with hilarious Khloe than diva Kim any day.