Family And Parenting Tips From Today’s Birthday Boy, Kevin Federline

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Kevin Federline is known for many things. He's Britney Spears‘ ex-husband and the father of her two children. He's also the father of three other children: two by ex-girlfriend, Shar Jackson, and one with new girlfriend (of the moment) volleyball player Victoria Prince. But let's cut to the chase: the guy doesn't know shit about birth control. He turns 34 today and has five kids by three different women; and it's probably safe to assume he has another five or 10 in him to offer the world. Federline has what we call “super sperm.”

In addition to being a father of many and an ex to even more, Federine is also (and I laugh as I write this) a musician. Well, as much of any of us are a musician after too many shots of tequila and a run-in with a karaoke microphone. However despite all this, Federline has also been quoted on such important topics as marriage, love and (gasp!) parenting. Basically, if you read that last sentence you can confirm this existence is fucked and is surely ending soon.

Although we have a lovely array for you this morning of Federline in his usual, ahem, “attire,” let's take a gander at what he has to offer the world in the realm of quotes on such important topics like matters of the heart. Yes, once again, I smirked while writing that. I'm like the Jimmy Fallon of Crushable¬†over here but without his amazing bedhead! You know, because he always laughs and messes up skits — did anyone get that reference? OK, back to K-Fed.