Addicted to Addicts: Is There a Rehab That Can Find Katy Perry A Nice Young Man?

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By now, we've all heard about the tragic Johnny Lewis murder-suicide.  The former Sons of Anarchy star was allegedly high as a kite when he beat his octogenerian landlady and her cat to death before committing suicide by jumping off of her roof.  A new development to this awful story is that Johnny Lewis is the ex-boyfriend who inspired Katy Perry's “The One That Got Away.”

Upon learning this information, my first instinct was to give Katy Perry something akin to an adult Shaken Baby Syndrome (I kid, I kid) because it looks like she's got it bad for broken bad boys.  Johnny Lewis, Travis McCoy and Russell Brand have all publicly suffered through addiction–either through Katy Perry's songs or by their own admission.

Ladies, I know it's really tempting to want to nurture a defeated, vulnerable man and try and “fix” him.  Harlequin and Danielle Steel wouldn't be filthy rich if women didn't eat this shit up, ya dig?  A lot of women like to “mother” and pretty much all men like to be mothered.  I get it.  I just detest it.

Katy Perry obviously has a lot going for her these days: massive wealth, massive amounts of fans, massive cleavage.  Even though she's basically Webster's definition of a pop princess, she tries to be a little edgy sometimes.  A consistent pattern of dating addicts is not what I call edgy–it's an addiction in itself.

It would be one thing if Russell Brand was the only man in her past who had drug problems.  He's open about it and he's proactive about his recovery.  But he's just one of three that we know about.  And don't even get me started on rebounding with John Mayer.  I would love to see Katy be single for awhile, first and foremost.  But when she does find a guy to get bizzay with and possibly serious about–as gorgeous famous women tend to do–I'd love for her to find a straight-laced guy.  (Or, as the Jewish grandmother in me says, “A nice doctah or lawyah.”)  Steer clear of the teenage dreams, Katy… those crash and burn for a reason.