Katy Perry Frightened Of, Disgusted By, Her Own Fame

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Are you ever horrified by just how much people all over the world seem to love Katy Perry, with her dumb cosplay outfits and irresponsible warhawking and computerized torture-pop? So is Katy Perry! At least, that's what she basically said in a recent interview with Teen Vogue.

“I’m tired of being famous already!” she told the teen magazine. “But I’m not tired of creating. Fame is, I think, just a disgusting by-product of what I do.”

Did Katy Perry just compare her massive undeserved wealth and adulation to santorum? I think she did, a little bit. This is especially funny considering that when you take away all the smoke and mirrors and frosting-shooting boob cannons, she's just a fairly normal-looking person with songs that are really annoying due to being four sub-par bars of music repeated over and over, and also due to somehow being catchy as fuck.

But that's not all! Katy Perry also wants you to know that she's highly disconcerted by your hysterical reactions to meeting her, so calm the fuck down:

When I meet fans and they're crying, I'll say, ‘Calm down, there's nothing to cry about.

‘I'm not going to bite you or attack you or grant you three wishes. Let's just hang out and have a good time'

And by “hang out and have a good time” she obviously means “you stand there while I bite you and attack you and steal the youth and beauty from out of your person.” Don't fall for it, Katy Perry fans. Or do. See if I care.