It Looks Like Katie Holmes Has Reached The Final Steps Of Cult-Recovery

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Katie Holmes gave her first post-divorce  TV interview on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon last night, minus any residual glassy-eyed looks or Stepford Wife PR stories, which leads me to believe she's reaching the final stages of her cult-recovery process.  You know, because the six minutes I spent Googling “escaping from a creepy cult” now makes me an expert on Scientology PTSD.  Katie seems to be somewhere between the “accomodation/acceptance” phase and the “re-involvement in society” phase.  Either way, it's just nice to see a little life in her eyes and the resurrection of the Joey Potter sweater.

When asked about a possible Dawson's Creek reunion, she seemed to be really open to it:

“I love everyone from the show and we have kind of talked about it here and there, but what do you do? Maybe we'll go on a vacation, that will be fun… and just film it!”

Helping her along through her break from Scientology, Katie is starring on Broadway again. She sings!  She dances!  She eats pizza!  During rehearsals for the show, Dead Accounts, Katie was busted eating some pizza that was meant to be a prop in the show.  She laughed it off by defending herself:

“We didn't have an audience yet!”

She was very jovial and even kind of delightful throughout the entire segment, which you can watch here.

Throughout the past five or six years, Katie Holmes has made her rounds on the talk show promotional circuit few and far between.  Because she hasn't had a whole lot to promote.  Because until earlier this summer, Katie Holmes was a robot.  The fact that she's moved along so quickly in her recovery leads me to believe that she pretty much always knew deep down that Scientology, like lots of organized religions tend to be, is total bullshit.  Weird, alien-worshipping bullshit.

Obviously Jimmy Fallon isn't the talk show to appear on if you're planning on discussing serious subjects related to your mental and emotional well-being, so I can only hope that Oprah will get her to spill her guts on a sunny afternoon in a vineyard sitting on wicker furniture.  There's no doubt that Katie's divorce settlement involves one hell of a gag order, but if anyone can find a way around that, Oprah can.

According to factnet.org, post-Scientology behavior can be pretty fucking crazy so if you want to become a healthy member of secular society you should try and follow these suggestions:

1.) Avoid judgmental people and groups.  This means Katie Holmes would have to leave Hollywood entirely, and you know Suri ain't having that at all.

2.) Seek out rational, mature adults.  While this would mean avoiding Hollywood people entirely, I suggest anyone who isn't Kirstie Alley, John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Will and Jada Smith, Leah Remini, etc.  Because they are more about Xenu and less about rationality.

3.) Cultivate humor.  Jimmy Fallon appearance?  Check.

4.) Look for the goodness in people.  See number 2 for list of people to avoid.

5.) Try to learn to forgive.  Oprah will probably have a better handle on this than I do.  Because I make it a point to neither forgive OR forget.

6.) Reclaim your right to self-reflect.  Shoe-shopping and restaurant-hopping with Suri?  Check and check.

7.) Get involved in projects or tasks.  Make a movie!  Record a Christmas album!  Do a TV cameo or two!

8.) Resurrect your humanity.  You and Suri can wear matching designer galoshes and rubber gloves and help “Restore the Shore”?

9.) Link up with other ex-Scientologist support groups.  See number 2 for the list of no-nos.


(Photo: Tumblr)