Dear Person Who Snitched On What Pregnant Kate Middleton Ate For Lunch: Thank You

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Kate Middleton Pregnant

I know it's only been a few days since we last heard about the whereabouts of Kate Middleton and her fetus, but bloody hell, it's felt like decades. I'd go as far as to say eons. How many times must I write letters to parliament before they start updating us every day on what Kate Middleton wore to bed and how she slept and what she said when she woke up and where she ate her breakfast and which member of One Direction she wants to perform during her birth.

If we depended on the royal family to update on these things, we'd still be wondering if she's pregnant. Thankfully there are several devoted human beings out there who understand the public's need for every waking (and sleeping) detail of Kate's life. After all, she's carrying Jesus: the Sequel. This is no time for privacy and constraint.

The restaurant where she ate lunch yesterday knows exactly what I'm saying. People reports the following breaking news:

Wednesday brought a festive lunch with Queen Elizabeth and other members of the Royal Family at Buckingham Palace, following Tuesday's lunch with their household – a menu of turkey and roast vegetables, though Kate, having dealt with morning sickness, sipped soft drinks, the restaurant said.

Let's file “sipping soft drinks on December 19th, 2012” under very vital information. I'm not even going to double-check that decision with Lori Beth Denberg. I just know that this information will open so many doors for us. Sorry if I sound like I've watched Harriet the Spy too many times, but I just know that no detail's too small when it comes to tracking this pregnancy.

So keep calm and carry on fine British folk. And thank you for tipping us off on this soft drink sipping.

(Photo: Optic Photos, PacificCoastNews.com)