Kate Middleton Officially Confirmed To Be Pregnant, Not Fat

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After years of speculation, Buckingham Palace/Clarence House finally confirmed that Kate Middleton is having a baby! And in even better news Maury Povich confirms that Prince William is the father! Oh cricket games galore, I've never been more excited for a baby announcement in my entire life.

Mostly because I now feel much better about Kate Middleton gaining all that weight recently. Between the belly bump and the face bloat, I started to worry she let herself go. I'd even started writing personal emails to the palace with ideas for diets that the duchess might like. While I personally recommended the “Les Mis: Anne Hathaway,” I also endorsed the classic, “Matthew McConaughey Skeletor Juice Cleanse.”

But that's all for naught now that we know she's giving birth to the only baby that's ever had a chance of upstaging Blue Ivy.

Congratulations Kate and William! And yes, before you even ask, I will be the godmother.

(Photo: SolarPix, PacificCoastNews.com)