Kanye Won’t Let Kim Film KUWTK Anymore, So Kris Jenner’s Head Will Fly Off In 3…2…1…

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Kanye West with his arm possessively around Kim Kardashian at the Met Ball May 2014Apparently Kanye West is refusing to let his new wife Kim Kardashian film a spin-off of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and I feel like the only appropriate response to that is, “Ohhhh shiiiiiiittttttt!!!”

I don't know if you've heard of a little person called Kris Jenner before, but she is no joke, and she's made monetizing her children her life's work. And of all the humans that she's pushed out of her vagina, Kim is the goose who lays the most lucrative golden eggs, so I can't imagine the fury Kris is feeling right now that they're gonna be lining Kanye's love-nest from now on.

(Need a high five for totally nailing the metaphor in that last paragraph.)

Apparently Kris had planned for Kim to appear on a new show called Kourtney & Khloé Take The Hamptons, yet another spin-off of the original KUWTK kash kow that's starting filming this summer — in the next few weeks, actually. But after a whole six days of marriage, Kanye is finally ready to stand up to Kris in a way that no one's really had the stones to before. According to a source speaking to Radar Online:

“There’s no way Kanye was going to allow Kim do it. It’s no secret how much Kanye dislikes and despises Kim’s involvement with reality television, and there was no way it was going to happen so soon after the wedding.”

Oh shit son! Kanye may hate reality television, but you know who loves it? Kris Jenner. She's like a shark, in that she has to be in constant movement through fabricated storylines in order to keep breathing.

“[Kris] is furious because she is feeling the pressure from E! and Ryan Seacrest Productions to have Kim on the show instead of her other daughter, Kourtney. The network is afraid that Kourtney & Khloé Take The Hamptons will be a ratings disaster because Kim isn’t going to be a regular on the series.”

First of all, sad for KourtneyThis is a moment, you guys. We're posed on the brink of something. Especially because Kim is making noise about wanting to change her last name to Kanye's — in fact, she's already changed her social media to reflect that desire, listing herself as Kim Kardashian West, which I'd imagine is enough to get Kris breathing smoke as her head spins wildly around on her neck.

“There is no way Kris would ever give her blessing for the main cash cow of the Kardashian empire, to not continue to use that name professionally. [She plans to] fight it tooth and nail. In fact, if Kris thought she could get Kanye to change his last name to Kardashian, she absolutely would!”

I can't decide whether I'm more obsessed with the idea of Kris trying to get Kanye to change his name to Kardashian, or terrified by the idea of what Kris Jenner's version of ‘tooth and nail' looks like. But it looks like this feud could heat up even more, as there's speculation that Kim might agree to filming in secret.

“Kanye doesn’t want her doing anymore reality television than she is contractually obligated to do. If Kim does agree to film, it will likely be without Kanye’s knowledge beforehand!”

I'ma grab some popcorn and a cozy seat on the couch because I cannot. wait. for this to go down.

(Photo: WENN.com)