Kanye West Invites Jesus To Opening Night Of His Tour After Realizing It Wasn’t Ridiculous Enough

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Kanye West Jesus Yeezus tour 2013

Kanye West performed the opening night concert of his Yeezus tour in Seattle this weekend, and it must have been really challenging for him to top his non-concert behavior this year with a particularly ridiculous show. The level of ridiculous was so important to him that MTV News reports he delayed the show two hours (how considerate) until his ridiculous meter was as high as it could go without shattering. Once he was out there, though, he made sure it all came together the way he wanted it, Jesus Christ included.

Yes, that's right. Jesus H. Christ himself was invited to join Kanye on the stage. Kanye reportedly declared, "White Jesus, is that you? Oh shit!" That's personally not how I would greet Jesus if I ran into him at a Kanye West concert. I'd probably just start in on all the questions I had for him. Questions like, "How accurate was The Da Vinci Code?" … and that's mostly it. I just really want to know about The Da Vinci Code.

But we're friends, so I need to be honest with you here. It wasn't actually Jesus Christ. I know, I'll let you take a minute to call the Duggars back and let them know they can stop preparing the hors d'oeuvres. He won't be knocking on their door when he gets off work. This is just a Jesus lookalike. Imagine being that guy. When you're old and gray you can sit in your rocking chair and tell your grandkids, "When I was a young man, I stood on stage with Kanye West dressed like Jesus while he wore a leather dress. Never give up on your dreams, children."

Jesus wasn't the only outrageous part of the concert. He also sang from a fake mountain and was joined by twelve female dancers. This description from MTV News of the show's final moments will keep me warm at night.

At the end of his two-hour sermon, Kanye and his 12 female disciples bowed to Jesus on the mountain top, while the 'Ye faithful gave all praises, shouting "Yeezus" until the house lights came on.


(Image: Instagram)