All The Reasons We Think Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel Might Be Headed For Divorce

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Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel at tennis match 2013(Photo: Joel Ginsburg / WENN.com)

I'm well aware that you guys hate it when I speculate on celebrity marriages ending — looking at you, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner! — but I can't be alone with my suspicions about Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel any longer. I've stayed (sort of) quiet for as long as I could, and now I need to show you all the evidence of their possibly impending divorce that I've been mentally archiving for months now.

1. They Were On-Again-Off-Again

To start with, I'm really skeptical of a couple that's been dating for a long time, then breaks up, and is engaged within a couple months of getting back together. To me, that suggests that the relationship broke up initially because one partner was ready for commitment and the other was shying away from it. But that doesn't mean that the noncommittal partner wants to be completely single, so in the cases I have in mind, after being single for a bit, they cave to the marriage pressure just to get the person back into their lives.

I have no idea if this reflects JT and Jessica's experience or not, but their relationship timeline does conform to the one I just discussed. They dated from May 2007 to March 2011, a little under four years, before breaking up. There isn't a clear date for when they reunited, although it was presumably in June or August, when they were seen publicly together ‘as friends'. But regardless of timing, Justin proposed to Jessica just a few months later, in December 2011, and the two were married in October 2012.

2. She Wasn't At The AMAs

Just a year after their wedding, rumors started that the marriage was on the rocks after Jessica was a no-show at the American Music Awards, which Justin attended. Sure, they're not the Grammys or the Golden Globes or anything, but I'm pretty sure that being a plus-one to fancy award shows is second on the list of benefits to being married to Justin Timberlake. (Number one is clearly ‘being married to Justin Timberlake'. Simple as that.)

Her absence was conspicuous enough to start speculation that she was staying home to conceal the evidence of a pregnancy before they were ready to tell people, but it's five months later and we see neither baby nor bump, so what was the deal.

3. She Knows It's Weird She Wasn't There

It'd be one thing if these two had their own system figured out and didn't realize how odd it was that they didn't get photographed out together very often, but that doesn't seem to be the case. While the AMAs were airing, Jessica apparently noticed a bunch of people were asking where she was, and she responded via her own Twitter:

Right but why? If you're watching anyway, it sounds like you didn't have anything better to do, and you didn't even bother to come up with an ‘I'm sick' excuse. Super weird.

4. He Wasn't At The Oscars

Honestly, I couldn't even believe my eyes when I saw Jessica Biel sitting by herself at the Oscars this year. I mean, her skipping out on the 2013 AMAs was one thing, but the Academy Awards? There is no more legit party in the entertainment world, I feel like, and you're just gonna miss it? Without even an excuse? What is going on here — am I a crazy person? You get street cred just for showing up at that thing, and there's no way that Jessica wasn't given a plus one. 1. She was presenting and 2. C'mon, it's Justin Timberlake.

And before you ask — no, he didn't have a show that night. I know that because I looked it up at the time. Not only was he not performing that night (March 2nd), he was actually on a multi-day break from his tour (from February 27th to March 4th), so he was presumably super available. WTF.

5. He Extended His Tour

Speaking of that tour, Justin recently added on more dates to it, even though he's been out traveling since November 2013. With the new dates, he'll be on the road until December 2014. Every concert so far has sold out, so I can understand wanting to really milk that, but being away from a spouse for over a year when the two of you have been married for less than two has to put some serious strain on a relationship, right?

6. Jessica Is Producing A Couples Therapy Show

As if this cry for help couldn't get any louder, Bravo just announced that Jessica will be producing a new ‘couples therapy style reality series' for them called, heart-breakingly, Last Chance. Here's the synopsis:

“Two exes have the ultimate opportunity to give their relationship one last chance through a series of social experiments over the course of 30 days. The couple will reunite and be pushed to their relationship limits under taxing scenarios – including returning to the scene of one their most difficult, uncomfortable and contentious times, playful events and emotional conversations to determine their fate once and for all. Will they re-kindle their romance or is their flame out for good?”

Two questions. 1. Is this just a word-for-word description of her experience in her own relationship? And 2. Do you think she'll have Justin on the show for their very own televised Last Chance?