Jelena Is Going To Couples’ Spiritual Counseling, Which Is A Total Waste Of Time
Oh hadn't you heard? Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are back together again. And even though you probably feel like you know exactly how this will end (and rightfully so), they're claiming it's the real deal this time, because they've been going to spiritual counseling together. Sigh.
I'm real happy for you, spiritual counseling, and I'ma let you finish, but Jelena is the worst couple of all time. OF ALL TIME. These two have been on and off so many times that even I can't keep track of it, and it's my literal job. (Let's also just take a moment to acknowledge the strange path that my life has taken.) Anyway, these two seemed like they were done for realsies last time, particularly when Selena and notorious Justin-hater Taylor Swift started hanging out again, but apparently it's back on again in a big way.
According to Hollywood Life, Selena agreed to take Justin back after he promised to go to spiritual counseling, and against all odds, he's actually been doing it.
“Selena and Justin have been taking their spiritual counseling very seriously and they are both fully committed to their sessions. Part of the counseling requires that they both read and study the book Getting the Love You Want. It has a bunch of exercises in it that they are both working on individually and together.”
So basically like a relationship ropes course? I have no idea what exercises they could possibly be doing, but this all sounds like the perfect thing to solve an irretrievably broken relationship with a twenty-year old and a twenty-one-year old. Absolutely no way should you scrap that garbage and move on. Keep trying to make it into the beautiful, supportive partnership that neither of you are capable of.
“Selena’s just blown away with Justin’s willingness to really dive into the material and better himself and the relationship.”
Yeah…for like thirty seconds maybe, until he realizes that he didn't go to high school for a reason, and he doesn't like leaving counseling sessions with required reading. I'm glad you're optimistic, Selena, but your boy there doesn't strike me as the homework type. But sure, you're the relationship experts, you do you. Let me know when you've done enough trust falls that you're no longer worried about Justin running off with the nearest Jenner girl.