Justin Bieber Proposed To Selena Gomez, We Obviously Now Know She Said No

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Like any true patriot, you've spent the past few nights tossing and turning in your bed as you tried to figure out why Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez broke-up. Your friends offered no insight, your therapist offered no answers and your anxiety medication offered no relief. I understand. I'm also a heart-owner and I'm also going through the same process.

Or I was going through the same process until I read a solved blind item on BlindGossip. Now, as we know, blind items are not facts. They're a wonderful combination of truthful tidbits, scandalous allegations and misleading suspicions. So as you read this, make sure to slip the word “allegedly” somewhere into each sentence.

A few weeks ago a blind item appeared about a young celebrity couple; he wanted to get engaged and she wanted to wait. Now today, they're listing this as solved and saying that it's definitely Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. And it gets jucier.

Allegedly Justin's so embarassed about Selena being the one to turn him down, his camp's putting out all kinds of rumors about scheduling difficulties and cheating and Jared's running out of engagement rings and every other possible reason to break-up with someone — besides being dumped by a less-famous girlfriend.

There have been various leaked reports that someone was cheating, someone was jealous, etc. These rumors are just attempts to deflect attention from the fact that Selena rejected Justin. The simple truth is that they are both way too young to get married, that it was just a business arrangement, that it’s time for them to move on, and that it’s good that at least one of them had the common sense to say “Enough.”

However as we've said on this very site, Selena Gomez has a big career ahead of her. With or without Justin Bieber, she's going to be incredibly sucessful. So Bieber might want to rethink this idea that he's so much better than her. Sure when they met he was the bigger star. But it's 2012 now and Selena Gomez's name has just as much street cred as his.

So in conclusion, I can only say I'm no longer sure if every kiss begins with Kay. But I am sure that we can expect some quality Taylor-Swift style music coming from Bieber any day now.

(Photo: PacificCoastNews.com)