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Justin Bieber May Have Gotten Two Women Pregnant, What An Accomplished Young Man

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Justin Bieber pouting GIF

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That Justin Bieber is such an overachiever. He really is determined to cross every stupid decision imaginable off his bucket list, and at just 20 years old he's on quite a roll. According to this new report from In Touch, he may have even already crossed off “Get multiple women pregnant.” And thanks to his blindly devoted team of loyal followers, he allegedly managed to cover it up.

There was already a rumor that Bieber had gotten his on-again-off-again-please-just-pick-one-already-before-my-head-explodes girlfriend Selena Gomez pregnant three years ago. That pregnancy allegedly ended in a miscarriage. Selena's reps denied it, of course. But in the last four years, Bieber has reportedly got two other women pregnant. As In Touch‘s anonymous source explains, “He just expects his team to handle it.” Well I can't argue with you there, Mr/Miss/Mrs/Ms Source. I'm pretty sure his team has to flush the toilet for him after he uses it. Hahaha, I'm just kidding. He doesn't use toilets.

Someone else whom In Touch refers to as “a source” — not clear whether it's the same one, or if he/she even exists — describes the situation as “horrible.” Then another source (Do you think they all know each other?) says the women's claims that Bieber was the father were “dealt with.” Apparently if it turns out their accusations are true, the women are “taken care of financially,” but they never come into contact with Bieber again. So the next time you see a little kid, remember that it could be the spawn of Bieber. Have fun with that nightmare!

Of course, this comes from In Touch, who I'm fairly sure has broken the news of at least 600 Jennifer Aniston pregnancies, approximately zero of which turned out to be real. So we should obviously take this rumor with a grain of salt. Still, I wouldn't be surprised if Bieber were on some kind of mission to bring his song “Baby” to life, fathering one baby for every time he uses that word in the song. In that case, we should be very afraid. He says that word a lot.

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