The Jonas Brothers Cancel Their Tour Due To ‘Deep Rift Within Band’…Aka Joe Jonas

By  | 

Jonas Brothers attending Most Stylish New Yorkers party September 2013The Jonas Brothers have just canceled their tour due to what's being called a ‘deep rift with the band', but which I think I might know better by its stage name — Joe Jonas.

This tour was supposed to start on Friday, and had nineteen planned stops, but it was canceled only two days before because Ye Olde JoBros couldn't get along. And this isn't just a rumor, either, leaked by the same insider who said we were gonna get that rumored Joe and Blanda Eggenschwiler sex tape so long ago. No no no. This comes straight from the band's spokesman, Jesse Derris, who told People Magazine:

“There is a deep rift within the band. There was a big a disagreement over their music direction.”

Innnnteresting. Those are all the details we have so far, but a last-minute cancellation reeks way more to me of Joe than it does his brothers Nick Jonas and the oft-forgotten Kevin Jonas. After all, Nick is busy focusing on his Renaissance-themed selfies, and Kevin (yes he does still exist, don't be rude) is waiting on the fruit of his loins to spill forth into this world. By which I mean his wife Danielle is pregnant. Was that not clear? The both of them have way too much going on to work on creating deep rifts or starting big disagreements.

But Joe doesn't have a ton going on right now, right? Other than smoking cigarettes, yelling at fans, and vying for the position of worst Jonas Brother. He's probably just lying around Jonas Mansion making more creeptastic videos for fans, telling Ryan Seacrest that the name of their last album means ‘boobs',  and thinking up the best way to start the kind of argument that apparently blew up between the brothers this past weekend. But now that the tour is officially off, and ticket holders are being promised refunds, is this it for our triumphant trio? Will we ever see these boys again? Ever chuckle good-naturedly at their antics or get their fans all riled up by making fun of them? Well…

“It remains to be seen.”

Even though it's not clear whether their upcoming album V will be released as planned, we do at least have confirmation that these issues are springing from ‘creative differences', and not the baby lurking in Danielle Jonas' womb. Well that's a relief anyway. Otherwise, as Jill pointed out, we'd have to name this baby Yoko Jonas.

(Image: Ryan / WENN.com)