JoBros Say They Need To Get It Together, And I’ma Need Them To Be More Specific

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The Jonas Brothers attending New York Fashion Week September 2013I cannot take my eyes off of the Jonas Brothers lately. There's nothing more intriguing to me than what goes on behind closed doors, and considering how tightly shut the Jonas doors are, I couldn't be closer to the edge of my seat. And now the boys have issued their first statement since beginning this bizarre meltdown, and it creates more questions than it answers.

They couldn't issue an official tweet on account of the fact that they mysteriously deleted that Twitter account last week out of nowhere, but Nick Jonas and Joe Jonas both tweeted out semi-responses on their personal accounts yesterday.


Okay. Pretty standard. Doesn't answer any questions, but at least it's an acknowledgement that some weird stuff is going on. I mean, you can't cancel your concert last minute due to a ‘deep rift within the band' and not expect your fans to have some questions. It's nice that they're finally reaching out again, even if it is to deliver the equivalent of an automated robot message.

But if you're in the mood for a more casual response than Nick's, look no further than Joe Jonas, because he never disappoints:


Okay, but language aside, which particular shit are we talking about? Because you guys have a lot going on. Are we talking about the shit where Joe was walking around with an addiction specialist because he's rumored to be on drugs? Or is this the moment when Joe's rumored sex tape rears its ugly head into the media? Is that what we're getting together? Or is it for one of the reasons that I outlined in my GIF post? Am I a genius?

Oh and by the way — why didn't Kevin Jonas issue a statement of his own? He has a Twitter! Did he not tweet because he's too busy trying to find a baby so that he and Danielle can disprove the ‘fake pregnancy' rumors? Is that the shit we're talking about?

Why don't you boys all sit down for a second and think about what you've done. And as soon as you figure out what that is, you be sure to let us know.

(Image: Michael Carpenter / WENN.com)