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Jon Hamm Would Do Anything To Get Us To Shut Up About His Penis…Except Wear Underwear, Apparently

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Jon Hamm attending premiere party for Mad Men season seven April 2014

I have a mystery I need solved, and it has to do with Jon Hamm‘s penis. There are two conflicting points of view: we do like talking about it, and Jon doesn't like us talking about it. Which is honestly a perfectly acceptable reaction to have when discussion of your genitalia is so rampant, but stay with me here.

The reason we talk about it is that we can see it…pretty much at all times. Approximately 100% of the times that you have an unobstructed view of Jon's crotchal view, said view also contains a through-pants rendering of his penis in precise anatomical detail. This is unique to Jon Hamm, which is why we discuss it. I have plenty of male friends whose undercarriage I couldn't sketch, mostly because I've never been able to make eye contact with it through layers of clothing. SO WHY CAN I SEE YOURS ALWAYS. Is it honestly so large that there isn't some sort of…basket contraption that can contain it? What is happening down there and how has it been happening for two and a half years?

Anyway. We all have our thoughts on the matter, and here are some of Jon's, posed to Men's Fitness in a recent interview:

“Would you want people walking up to you and pointing at your dick…? I can’t believe I’m still talking about this…The fact that I’m painted as this exhibitionist is a little annoying. It’s become a meme. Being someone who people want to photograph, you have to open yourself up to the positive and negative. It is what it is. If I get mad at it I’ll look like a douchebag. But it’s silly.”

I can't believe we're still talking about it either! Mostly because if there was one photo of me sporting an especially pronounced camel toe, I'd spend the rest of my life strapping those labies down like you wouldn't believe.

(Photo: Apega / WENN.com)