The Very Necessary Subtitles That You Need To Understand Jodie Foster’s Speech

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Jodie Foster Golden Globes speech translation

Well this took people long enough to put together!

Approximately 48 hours ago Jodie Foster delivered one of the most confusing speeches to ever be delivered in the history of speech-making. Rather than being remembered for winning a lifetime achievement award at the 2013 Golden Globes, she will now just be remembered for the many, many articles analyzing what she was attempting to say while accepting that lifetime achievement award.

Was it an incredibly powerful speech about coming out in a gossip-driven society? Or was it an ode to being friends with Mel Gibson? No one can say for sure.

It's really a shame that the message got so muddled because I did enjoy her frantic mother performance in Panic Room as well as its sequel Flightplan. Until this speech, I had no reason to think of her as anything but a normal actress who fostered a strange relationship with one of Hollywood's most volatile human beings.

The good news is that all hope isn't lost. Her one saving grace in this whole scandal may be this Funny or Die video that attempts to translate her speech into normal human speak.

Does it work? You tell me!