Jessica Simpson Gives Birth To A 5-Year Old. Just Kidding. It Was A Newborn.

By  | 

After what seemed like 87 months of gestation, former singer and current Fashion Star judge Jessica Simpson gave birth to Maxwell Drew Johnson this morning. The baby weighed in at 9 pounds, 13 ounces and apparently already asked her mother for a share in all the profits she made from her highly publicized pregnancy.

New father Eric Johnson is rumored to be dealing with those financial negotiations. Keep in mind, this is rumored. We don't really know if baby Maxi asked for a cut. After all, she did just birth herself this morning.

Also, She might not be anywhere near as competitive with Jessica as her Auntie Ashlee Simpson. Either way we know Papa Joe Simpson's already on the phone trying to get the newborn some kind of scripted reality show. Maybe about her dating Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo‘s future spawn?

And now that the baby's finally here, the countdown begins for Jessica Simpson to start losing all the  weight. A few months ago she signed an estimated three million dollar deal with Weight Watchers to follow her as she drops the baby pounds.  If J. Simps knows what's good for her (and for magazine covers), she'll drop that weight in 6-8 weeks and emerge looking thinner than ever